Bullycide in America by Kevin Epling, 4/25/2010

There is a lot of talk in the news in recent months about "Bullycide", a suicide connected to an instance or instances of bullying. But it is not a new phenomenon, only the name is new. It can be traced back to the late-Sixties in England when a young man took his life and left a note detailing his run-ins with the school bullies. School bullying has been looked upon as a rite of passage, that we've all gone through and that we will simply "get over it". Sadly with bullying we never get over it, we suppress it and we live with it. It can change our outlook and our personality, it can chart our course for the rest of our lives. Search your own memory bank and I am sure you can find the bully looking back at you.

The latest victim to hit the national news was 16 yr old Phoebe Prince in Massachusetts. Her crime for the intense bullying; she happened to be Irish and she was dating someone's former boyfriend. Her tormentors were relentless using both physical and cyber attacks to beat her down. But sadly the latest for us here in Michigan was Kimberly Linczeski in MI's Upper Peninsula. She was only 12 years old. Michigan has suffered eight confirmed bullycides since 2001: Tempest Smith ( 2001), Matt Epling (2002), Chrystal Eaton (2003), Kristina Calco (2005), Austin Murphy (2007) and Alex Harrison (2009). Another name will be added when the family chooses to come forward and share their pain.

We have met or communicated with all of these parents, and we share their pain, as we are Matt's parents. There was a bright life behind each of these names, each one had dreams and aspirations, that were cut down by others to the point their own self worth was diminished. The families have joined us as survivors of suicide and have embraced the idea of making change in their own way. We've lost wonderful kids in MI and across the United States, because we choose to ignore the undercurrent of violence within our schools. It is unthinkable that a 9 year old would take their life because of bullying, but it has happened, twice.

Anti-bullying efforts, especially those in the Middle School through High School years must address both violence and suicide prevention in tandem. Broad awareness and education are the most important tools we have against bullying, violence and suicide. Over the years we have spoken at many conferences and schools and we are always approached by teachers and parents and are told of other students who took their lives years ago because of bullying. This is nothing new, it has been happening all along, it has just been easier not to try and correct it. Unofficially the bullycide rate in MI is probably closer to 15-20 over the last ten years, probably higher if we did the research.

Phoebe's death along with Carl Walker Hoover's last year rallied the Mass. Legislature to pass anti-bullying legislation, which is awaiting the Governor's signature. Here in MI we have been battling for the past eight years, and are still waiting. The bill was killed in the Senate just before Christmas in 2008. Since then we've lost three students, three bright stars in a family's life. We as parents and constituents need to ask why our lawmakers choose to allow our children to suffer when something can be done.

We must work together and make more young adults know people are working for them and supporting them. To all the students we talk to we leave them with this: "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world". To you we ask "Be The Change" in your own life or in someone else's.

Peace,

Kevin & Tammy Epling
Matt's Parents
Bullypolice USA
www.mattepling.com